Feeling like saying misleading information about COVID19? Don’t worry. Every time the temptation to do so is stronger than your rationality, the mask will censor your speech by making a “beep” sound. The best part about it is, you can customize the censorship sound by connecting to your favourite Spotify playlist! Now, every time you want to say things like “masks don’t work”, you will instead entertain your listeners with your favourite tunes!
I bring to you The Smart Mask! You heard me folks! No more wet baggy cloth flopping around on your face. The future of masks is here, almost like they’ve been working on it for some time.
But that’s not all! Just when you thought our smart mask couldn’t get any better, it does! Whenever you question the mainstream narrative, the government, existence of coronavirus, intentions of the billionaires involved in saving you, and many more, the mask sends electric shocks, which strength varies depending on what you speak against. Full list of offences comes with the mask, but you can add your own forbidden speech too!
Do I have you at the edge of your seat yet? Well, you will just love this next feature! When you’re feeling adventurous, and decide to go on a road trip during lockdown when Pandemic 2 happens, (we call it the pandemic 1), the mask will lock on your face and restrict your air flow, suffocating you, if you do not return to the zone within the government mandated distance of your home. Don’t hesitate! Order yours now! Keeping your community safe has never been easier.
Approved by factcheckers, WHO, Bill and Melinda Gates foundation